Been thinking of some things these couple of days, or rather i'm just thinking about that thing. Kind of bothered, yet i dun want to know the truth.

Have you ever thought that life will be much better without constraints? Without having to spare a thought for other ppl's feelings, without having to do things that you dislike? Certainly it will be much better. I usually chose to do things which my parents or friends wanted me to do since young.. Be it academics, CCAs, disciplines, etc etc. I put down my own interest if I know the ppl around me gets irritated with the things I do. Sigh, how tiring.

Therefore, just like how a person would grow up rebellious due to constant beatings from parents, I've grown rebellious to my own personality. Now, I hate to follow rules, I'll find troubles with protocols, and the more someone force me to do certain things, the more I'll ignore. What leads to the change then? Probably I find it too tiring trying to appease ppl, and I got nothing in the end. Thanks.. to my wonderful teenage life.

Besides, I'm very bothered by the fact that if someone is trying to give in to my feelings, to do things for my sake, but end up complaining regretfully. Even though I'm aware that I'll feel upset if that someone didn't do what I wished he would do, the feeling of guilt is harder to bear. Unless you are sincere in what you are giving. If not, please don't.

Thanks.. for that guilt.

Been thinking of some things these couple of days, or rather i'm just thinking about that thing. Kind of bothered, yet i dun want to know the truth.

Have you ever thought that life will be much better without constraints? Without having to spare a thought for other ppl's feelings, without having to do things that you dislike? Certainly it will be much better. I usually chose to do things which my parents or friends wanted me to do since young.. Be it academics, CCAs, disciplines, etc etc. I put down my own interest if I know the ppl around me gets irritated with the things I do. Sigh, how tiring.

Therefore, just like how a person would grow up rebellious due to constant beatings from parents, I've grown rebellious to my own personality. Now, I hate to follow rules, I'll find troubles with protocols, and the more someone force me to do certain things, the more I'll ignore. What leads to the change then? Probably I find it too tiring trying to appease ppl, and I got nothing in the end. Thanks.. to my wonderful teenage life.

Besides, I'm very bothered by the fact that if someone is trying to give in to my feelings, to do things for my sake, but end up complaining regretfully. Even though I'm aware that I'll feel upset if that someone didn't do what I wished he would do, the feeling of guilt is harder to bear. Unless you are sincere in what you are giving. If not, please don't.

Thanks.. for that guilt.